My whole life has been a lie
it takes me like 3 days to wake up in the morning
oh my god
fucking fandom references
WHAT FANDOM? THE JESUS FANDOM?
THEY PREFER THE TERM CHRISTIANITY
This is the post that killed me
This is the post that killed him.
IT GOT BETTER
I MM LAUGHING SO HARD AT THIS CAUSE SATANS ALL LIKE
“OOO GURL U RATCHETY”
AND THE DUDE HANDING HIM THE BOOK IS JUST ALL
AND THE JUDGE GU Y IN THE BACKGROUND IS JUST
“GOD D DAMN IT SATAN”
I M LAUGUHING SO HARD HELPP
I feel like we’ve all known a girl in elementary school that was obsessed with horses
Looks like the screenshot of a new Disney Channel series
"She’s 15 and an aspiring singer"
"and she’s a gorilla"
"And now they are STEP-SISTERS"
"Life will NEVER be the same for Madison and CoCo"
"Also for some reason its a secret and they dress CoCo up like a human to go to school"
“MONKEY BUSINESS. ONLY ON DISNEY CHANNEL”
Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it”
Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.
To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.
On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.
I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…
Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.
The lengths we go for music.
Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.
One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”
And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:
[reeeeeeally deep breath]
[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]
The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.
In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”
FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.
This is the best band post
Everyone else go home
Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this
which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,
that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that
Who does that?
This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.
More like Julius Fuckit
this post just kept getting better and better
OMG, SO IM RIGHT NEXT TO MY MOM WHILE READING THIS AND I START LAUGHNG SO HARD AND NOW SHES LOOKJNG AT ME LIKE IM A LUNATIC!!!!
But seriously, I’m not in band, but I’m in choir, and I’ve NEVER seen 4 fortes or 4 pianos. I HAVE seen 3 pianos before though
you know girls can tell when you look at their boobs
i don’t care how quickly you glance, 1 second is like 5 seconds in boob time
A 50- something year old white woman arrived at her seat on a crowded flight and immediately didn’t want the seat. The seat was next to a black man. Disgusted, the woman immediately summoned the flight attendant and demanded a new seat. The woman said “I cannot sit here next to this black man.” The fight attendant said “Let me see if I can find another seat.” After checking, the flight attendant returned and stated “Ma’am, there are no more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and see if there is something in first class.” About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated “The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy, but there is one in first class. It is our company policy to never move a person from economy to first class, but being that it would be some sort of scandal to force a person to sit next to such a disgusting, unpleasant person, the captain has agreed to allow the switch to first class.” Before the woman could say anything, the attendant turned to the black man and said, “Therefore sir, if you would please retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class, as the captain would hate for you to have to sit next to such a disgusting person.”
Passengers in the seats nearby began to applause while some gave a standing ovation.